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SEX and RP

Published by under Role Play on Sep. 30. 2011.

((The RP XP with MJ #6 – Sex and RP))




The bounty hunter released the Twi’lek’s chin and let her head fall forward. “She’s out cold.”


Agent Jenla Ruf smirked, disappointed. “Maybe we should just kill her.”


Boarsch looked down at Yulel, her orange skin now pale except for the bruises and cuts, her lekku hanging limply over each shoulder as she slumped in the chair to which she was bound. “Pity she couldn’t tell us what we needed to know.”


Jenla looked up at the hunter and shrugged. “There will be other runners we can torture.” She sighed. “I’ll have to report this to Lord Tagious.”




Jenla narrowed her eyes at him. “Hm?”


Boarsch set his helmet and gauntlets on a nearby crate and stepped around the unconscious Twi’lek to the agent. He gently placed his hands on her arms. “Why? I mean why tell him anything?”


Jenla’s red eyes sought meaning in the Mandalorian’s question, she searched his face but could only frown. “I must. It’s my duty to–“


“Tell him nothing until you have something to report.”


Jenla looked to the beaten Twi’lek. Boarsch gently took her by the chin and turned her face to meet his eyes. “I’m serious,” he whispered. “When you left home and sought me out, you said you loved me. You said you trusted me.”


“I do, but–“


“Then trust me now.” Boarsch shifted his stance. The belt loaded with grenades and blaster packs creaked and clacked at his waist. “Look, who’s the one who helped you when you needed it? Who watched your back while you fought your way through the Imperial Training Facility on–“


“You did.” Jenla now held his gaze, her voice harder but her red eyes softening.


“Who brought you here and protected you, delivered this Twi’lek to you?”


“You did.” Jenla reached up and rested her hands on his armored shoulders. She leaned into him and felt the support of his armored body. “You always do.”


“Then don’t say anything until you have something to say. I don’t want Tagious to kill y–“


Jenla’s hands moved to the sides of Boarsch’s head and she pulled him down to kiss her. Their lips lingered as the Mandalorian and the Chiss relaxed into the familiar precursor of their physical desires, each one surrendering responsibility and time to passion.


As their breathing became heavier, Jenla reached down and unhooked the bounty hunter’s belt. It dropped to the floor with a loud clank. Boarsch reached for her neck and slowly unzipped her uniform tunic. He said, “I want you.”


Jenla smiled as she led him toward an adjacent room. “Everyone does.”




And then they had sex.

That’s really all you have to say when the RP between two characters in a relationship gets to that point. It’s not necessary to act out all the details of their intercourse, is it?


That depends.


Before I get into the explanation of the various types and stages of ERP (Erotic RolePlay), let me toss you this disclaimer: This is a column. As such, it features my opinion and not the opinions of Swtor-Life or its staff, or Bioware, or Lucas Arts, or anyone else. Naturally, that goes for every piece I write for Swtor-Life, but this particular topic is so “hot button” in the RP community, I thought it best to point that out. The different types and styles of Romantic or Erotic RP are as varied as the opinions about it.


But, love it or hate it, romance — and the physical expression of it — can be as much a part of RP as anything else. Bioware has even added romance story options to some of the companion characters in TOR; and lets not forget the jaw-dropping (and controversial for its time) romantic entanglements in Bioware’s Mass Effect.


Just like the romance — and sex — in Mass Effect, erotica in RP is completely optional and not something you have to worry about if it’s not your thing. Always remember, RolePlay involves give-and-take. It’s setting a stage and creating a scene with character and theme and feeling — with someone else. In future columns I’ll discuss relationships between characters, how to build a romance or a rivalry, create and maintain family bonds and more; but for now I’ll just talk about sex. Because ERP has a subculture all its own. Let’s get dirty…



ERP – “Doin’ it” the Right Way


If your character finds him- or herself entwined in a romantic relationship, chances are it’s going to come up. It may not, but if it does, here’s how you do it properly.


First, COMMUNICATE. Throughout this column, you’ll hear me give that same advice over and over, but I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to be clear about what you will and won’t participate in when it comes to ERP.


Whether you’re open about who you are (as the player), or you like your anonymity (players of opposite-sex characters often prefer to remain anonymous to keep real life from breaking the feel of their RP characterization), communicating your boundaries at some point is paramount. My advice would be to make those boundaries clear at the beginning of an in-character romantic relationship.


If it seems your characters are growing close, stop the show and have an OOC (Out Of Character) chat about what the expectations are, especially if if feels intimacy is drawing closer.


Just start with something simple. “((Can we talk about where this is heading?))” is a perfectly acceptable question. If the conversation leads to the realization that the characters will “sleep together,” it’s time to make your boundaries clear. There are four general lines to ‘not cross’:


  1. “NO MEANS NO” – Plain and simple. If the other player doesn’t want to RP intimacy, DO NOT PUSH IT. Likewise, if it’s not your thing, MAKE SURE IT’S CLEAR YOU DON’T WANT TO. Don’t let anyone try to talk you into something you don’t want to do. If you’re feeling pressured, harassed or violated in any way, warn them that you’ll report them if they don’t leave you alone.
  2. “FADE OUT” – This can also be referred to as “Prime-Time TV” sex. The RP can progress to the point where it’s obviously going to end with a sexual encounter, then both players can agree to “fade the scene out” and fast-forward time to a later time. Don’t wait for the other person to say ‘Fade Out’ if you’re starting to feel uncomfortable. Their idea of ‘acceptable prime-time TV’ may be more “cable” than “network.”
  1. “SOFT CORE” – Ok, so you and your RP partner have agreed to play out the scene no matter what happens. That doesn’t mean you have to be “pornographic” in your descriptions and exposition. You can communicate an action by suggestion and inference. In the fiction above, Jenla unhooked Boarsch’s gun belt and Boarsch unzipped her uniform. What happens next is strongly inferred. The next step could be as blatant as, “She kneels, her eyes remaining on his,” and you’d have a pretty darn clear idea what’s going to happen next.
  1. “HARD CORE” – No holds barred. Be prepared to wince. There may be a lot of “probing” and “sweating” and “slamming.” The line between soft and hard core depends on your own sensitivity and definition of “crudeness.” If the language bothers you or if you find it too intense or too uncomfortable, SAY SO. Call a stop to it and ask to tone it down… or simply stop. Again, being clear up front with what you will and will-not participate in is vital to a smooth RP experience.


Be aware of RPers who seem too anxious to get to an ERP situation. Even if your character is not a “prude,” there’s no reason to believe they’d respond to, “Hey, nice ship. Ever been to this spaceport before? Take off your pants.” RP or not, there should be realistic expectations on everyone involved.


When in doubt, talk it out. If the player you’re RPing with is reluctant to talk OOC (some RPers are so hard core that they never use OOC chat and are in character all the time), there’s no reason for you not to make your own feelings known. You can even do so in-character. “Uh… ew. Get away from me or I’ll blast you into space dust.” That should work. Oh, and don’t forget to turn and walk away to make your point clear.


Remember, that the lines can shift as well in either direction.


If you become more comfortable with your RP partner (and they with you), you can push the boundaries and try going a little further each time. Be open-minded but cautious and communicate constantly about your own feelings and desires. Or, you might take an opposite approach: “((We can RP it this time because my character’s a Twi’lek and yours is a Miraluka and I think it would be interesting to explore what their two cultures would do in this situation)).

That’s presuming, of course, that you each play your characters accurately according to their species attributes.



ERP – How (and When) Not To


Again, communicate. If someone brings the subject up to you, or asks you point blank if you’re into ERP, tell them no. That pretty much goes for anything that would make you feel uncomfortable or insult you. Be direct, be firm, be clear.


There’s nothing that says two characters in a relationship HAVE TO sleep together. Luke and Leia only kissed (um… ok, let’s not go there. Forget I said anything). Put simply, you and your RP partner can have a “working relationship.” You can RP scenarios together, participate in Flash Points or Raids, hang out in social areas, and that’s it.


You can also simply agree that the “intimate parts” happen when the computer is off, and that goes for any hugging or kissing that might go on as well. ERP isn’t a NEED. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Keep that in mind.


You should also keep in mind that you can never be completely sure who the other person is. That sexy female Bounty Hunter may say that she’s a 35 year-old female “stay-at-home-mom” whose husband doesn’t mind that she plays TOR, but she could very well be a 16 year-old male high school dropout who gets off on “sexting.” Always assume that the people you are RPing with are innocent and/or impressionable. Avoid adult or “mature” RP until you feel comfortable that the people you RP with are adult and mature.



I want to start hearing from you and get your input for future columns. Here are a couple things to think about: What kind of Jedi will you play? What’s your impression of how a Jedi should be in the time of the Old Republic? What’s your “Code?” Write to me at

And… As game launch draws near, are you ready for RP? Write to me at and tell me about your RP guild!

6 responses so far

6 Responses to “SEX and RP”

  1. Praemorioron 30 Sep 2011 at 11:18 am

    Nice column! I have never ERP’d, and probably won’t in the future (unless my wife is interested), and still most of the stuff you wrote are quite clear to me. A person needs only to think a while. No sense in rushing to bed.

    I’m sure many will improve in RP & ERP after reading this.

  2. swtorcrafteron 30 Sep 2011 at 11:25 am

    excellent material bud you are doing great! That is all 🙂

  3. MJon 30 Sep 2011 at 1:42 pm

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    Praemorior, thanks! ..Yeah, it pretty much comes down to “to each his (or her) own,” and the realization that a lot of what goes into RP is based on real life and realistic responses. Thanks so much for your comments and for reading.

    swtorcrafter… Thanks, bro 😉 And, before you ask, no–my characters will not sleep with yours. 😛

  4. Drakai88on 01 Oct 2011 at 2:23 am

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    *In the meantime while pipe is being laid, Yulel regains consciousness and escapes* el oh el

  5. MJon 01 Oct 2011 at 4:57 am

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    ROFL, Drakai88. She is a crafty little smuggler. We’ll have to see if she takes your hint 😉

  6. Celebrity Blogon 23 Oct 2011 at 3:18 pm

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